“THIS ISN’T THE BEGINNING. I’m not sure what it is but I’ve decided to start here…

Ummm, ok, I’m just going to start talking and then the words will just come out without me thinking about them because what, what I did was… what I did was…IIIII—I—I tried to kill myself.”

So begins Ava Mueller’s account of her life and misadventures. She grows up on a farm, sheltered by devout immigrant parents. Her mother fluctuates between suicidal threats and violent outbursts and her father, checked out of life long before Ava enters the scene, goes through the motions, tending his crops, providing for his family and praying.

When a high school teacher tells Ava she should write, her world is shattered. “Boys go to school, girls help their mothers: this is what the Bible says,” her mother tells her. When Ava pushes for school, her mother issues an ultimatum.

Videos and Recordings

Do the Wrong Thing on Youtube

Vancouver Writers Podcast

Photographs: at Twisted Poets, Mar. 28, 2019

Do the Wrong Thing Book Launch


Malcolm van Delst stands out as a lazy writer in a profession notorious for idlers and bums. She crowd-sourced this bio. She is a former lady who codes, a sometime bitcoin miner fond of get-rich-quick schemes and has a knack for dramatifying.

Originally from Ottawa, Canada, she now lives in Vancouver. She would never use the upside down facelift technique in a photo.


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